Ask Not for Whom the Trump Trolls

Dear Us,

A half a year ago, and a full political cycle now there was a ridiculous notion heard round the world that one Donald J Trump would declare his candidacy for the presidency of our nation. It evidenced what we all know. The Democratic bench is shallow and improbable to win. And then something horrifying happened. Trump put his Pierre Cardin-clad foot in his mouth and instead of shaming him out of the race, he told the press to go stuff it and clung to the news coverage for a solid week. The world of political know-it-alls were astounded that highly qualified and desirable candidates would not get the time of day on news coverage because The Donald was the only story that interested the news services.

For their part, the media were all playing chicken with the other cable news services. This is a terrible time for cable. Thanks to Netflix, redbox, Amazon Prime, Hulu, and a general disinterest to pay for what you don’t use, their ratings are in the basement every single ratings week. So none of them want to miss something sensational that might actually attract a shrinking percentage of precious market share.

And now, no one has been able to touch him. His fans love him for it too. Finally, they have a candidate who can tell the political correctness police where they can take their trigger sensitive, micro-agression watching, save-the-whales and keep-planned-parenthood-publicly-funded self contradicting logic to the giant toilet of bad things that destroy countries and depress the flush button with all possible vigor.

He’s a star.

He’s a celebrity.

And celebrity will always, always, always, and always win over character and principal when it comes to the attention span of the masses. And now, thus won, their attention spans will compel them to tell a pollster that they will choose Trump as their next president.

Conservatives. You are acting defeated. Every time I open my FB newsfeed, I see more of you decrying what’s horrible about Trump, why not Trump, Trump is the devil wrapped in Hitleresque 1% Gucci with a side of 1984. You have become part of the machine that created the problem that you are now decrying. There is a vast ocean of choice for tactics that have succeeded for liberals, progressives, and even some moderates over the course of time, but for you, conservatives, as soon as you start saying why not something, you have lost the only thing that makes your contribution powerful: the high ground.

More often than not, conservatives are Christians. The majority stake-holder of which are evangelicals. For those of you who are, please consult your holy book, starting at Matthew and driving through to 3 John. Please keep a tally. On one side of the page, you make a mark for the number of times you or another person are commanded to do something. On the other, mark every time it says to not do something.

Something emerges. Strangely, the Christian doctrine and much of the conservative political ideology it produces are informed by a religion which is much more intent on telling people what to do and not what to not do.

In other words, you are acting against your faith when you go onto facebook and gripe about why not Trump.

That’s an easy discussion, by the way. Go listen to him speak. He is his own worst enemy. Ignore the media coverage. Ignore the endorsements (more for the sake of not hearing Sarah Palin try to sell her “Going Rogue” trademark again than for political expediency). Ignore people trolling on facebook. Just listen to him speak about what he’s going to do. When he comes across as a third string quarterback trying to give his history class the impression of intelligence but proving that he didn’t prepare his lecture on the spanish american war, well shucks, folks, there’s not much more to say.

Go to his website and look at his material. Some of it is pretty good. And yes, there is a plan to pay for that wall. It might even work.

But you, conservatives. Most of you are defeated before the first primary or caucus. Where in the world has your strength gone? Do you not know how to endure a hard time? Now that your candidate is the victim of ridiculous attack, you’re offended and suprised? Did you think there would be two first place finishers? Maybe go back and look at how Trump took out the other candidates you were happy to see go. Maybe go back and realize you weren’t making any noise then. Where are your principals now? They have become as weak and worthless as all of the other principals of the candidate who so badly offends you.

Want to win? Want to see your principals represented at the highest level? Want to be proud of your chief executive and walk with a swagger in another country and say “Yep, I’m one of HIS citizens?” Then you need to be the ground game for your candidate. You need to say, instead of why not Trump, you need to say why your candidate.

If you’re for Cruz, know how to prove his citizens rights to the presidency and then wax eloquent on how he has not compromised in the congress.

If you’re for Rubio, know his story and that of his family. Know the gang of 8 story and why it’s important but that he has changed.

If you’re for Rand, better defend isolationism.

If you’re for Bush, better prepare for me to roll my eyes at you and then defend Common Core.

If you’re for Kasich, please explain to me why he practices kung fu while speaking.

If you’re for Christie, better know his resume. Including business with bridges.

If you’re for Trump, read his website so you can actually express what his plans are, other than his main talking point “It’s gonna be yoooooge, i mean really really great, the guy who’s a really good guy, by the way, very nice to me, was a really nice guy who did great things that said I’m right.”

Seriously, though, it’s like that moment on Billy Madison, “Nowhere in your answer did you even come close to a cohesive thought. We’re all dumber for having heard you speak. I award you no points. And may God have mercy on your soul.”

Anyway, please. Please. Please. If you would have a person of principal in the office, be a person of principal who champions him. The easy pickings of why not Trump are beneath you.

I used to take the easy pickings of why not Obama. And occasionally, I will go back to it. Sometimes it’s easy to beat up on another man’s work. Especially because that other man is completely ignorant of my criticism. But how cowardly is that? I began to ask myself, would I say this to his face? It has moderated my tone a lot. Not my opinion or stances, mind. But it has softened my words.

People deserve compassion and respect.

And that’s why I’m voting Cruz in my primary.


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